SAAT ADA PERLAWANAN

ON BEING ATTACKED

There are times when we find ourselves being attacked.  And when we are attacked in a hostile, aggressive manner, it may be a bit difficult to handle.  We might have a tendency to react either defensively, or attack in return.

It is perhaps more effective to take control of such irrational confrontations than it is to react to them.  While it may be easy to do so, if we follow several simple guidelines we can increase our chances of turning an irrational attack into a more productive relationship.

1.      SHOW OPENNESS : There is nothing more disarming than to openly accept “feedback”.  If possible, move away from any audience, and maintain an open relationship.  Sit down.  Encourage the confronter to say everything he/she desires to say.  Give positive nonverbal responses.  Maintain adult-like (A) behaviour.

2.      PROBE : Encourage the attacker to tell the whole story.  Ask                          questions.  Try to get all the facts and feelings out.  Take notes if it                      won’t interfere with the open relationship you’ve created.  Paraphrase                 key points.  Avoid making any judgements about what you are being                  told -- maintain an (A) behaviour style.

3.      COMMIT TO DISCUSS FURTHER : Do not attempt to resolve an               irrational attack in front of an audience or while the confronter is still                         emotionally involved in the confrontation.  DO secure a time and place                    to get together later.  Get a commitment of the attacker’s desire to                               resolve the situation, if possible. Thank the attacker for the opportunity              to help.